INFJ Problems – Verbal Communication

Hi. I’m an INFJ… and if I were to say that to you in person it would sound like this:

“Hi. You know INFJs? That’s Myers Briggs right. Personality testing. Psychology stuff. I did one recently. A test. Not a psychologist. I’m one. An INFJ. Not a psychologist. I’ll just leave…”

Basically, INFJs suck at most verbal communication.


We strange creatures are eloquent in our writing, hauntingly beautiful in our prose, but our big fat tongues get swollen and tied when we try to use them in small talk, in getting our point across and (most heinously) when flirting.

“You cute. Me likey.” – an INFJ flirting.

Due to our propensity to wear masks and have the blood of the chameleon running through our veins, an INFJ can get up on stage and deliver a resounding speech. An INFJ can also act the roof off a stage or make a presentation to a room full of people and receive a standing ovation for their efforts.

But put us in a situation where we need to make small talk, you’ll see a clumsy, ham-fisted INFJ emerge. Watch a revved up INFJ trying to get her point across and end up bursting into tears of frustration.


And for a real laugh, if you know an INFJ, stick her in front of her crush for five minutes and watch through a peephole. You’re sure to get guffaws as she stumbles for words that don’t sound like a “learning to read for toddlers” book.

This is one of the main reasons why you should never – ever – just call your INFJ friend out of the blue. That’s why they invented texting. So INFJs everywhere can have a moment to read what you want, come up with an appropriate answer and send it back on their terms. And don’t even think about immediately calling your INFJ after they text you – what kind of monster are you?



*If you’d like to know more about INFJs or the Myers Briggs Personality Types follow this link.

38 thoughts on “INFJ Problems – Verbal Communication

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  1. These are fun tests to take. My results were:

    Personality type: “The Campaigner” (ENFP-T)
    Individual traits: Extraverted – 58%, Intuitive – 73%, Feeling – 59%, Prospecting – 56%, Turbulent – 63%
    Role: Diplomat
    Strategy: Social Engagement

    That’s about right, I think. I am more extraverted than introverted, but not exceedingly so. I agree I’m very intuitive. I am definitely turbulent, but that has eased a bit during the last five years.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used up all my words in a marathon writing session yesterday (4K) and when hubby came home I said “I wrote and edited some of my story good. Better.” We both had to laugh about me being the writer in the family with a vocabulary like that.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha ha! That sounds a lot like me! But then . . . I can also be the exact opposite, depending on who I’m talking to. Multiple personality disorder, maybe? Yeah, that makes more sense. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nah, it’s also an INFJ trait. There are some folk I can talk to and we have conversations about the molecular activity of the cosmos (and other equally stimulating topics). Then there are times when I say “I writer. I goodly write stuff.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha ha! Glad to know I’m not a weirdo. It’s been nice talking to you lately, Jess. I really appreciate your work!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This made me laugh. Once again you have justified my personal quirks as natural and normal for my personality type. I will now cite this whenever people question it…in writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When I found out I was an INFJ it was like all the pieces fit together. I realized I (probably) didn’t have a mental health disorder, it was just my INFJness. Now that’s my ‘go to’ whenever it comes to one of my eccentricities “oh, that’s just an INFJ thing”.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. As an INFJ (or P depending on the day, like Sue), I find it odd that I can communicate extremely well in business situations, delivering speeches, even teaching a class. But those social occasions…seriously how did INFJ/P’s get so mucked up? It’s like a cosmic joke that we can be eloquent one moment, then turn into a backwards verbal klutz in a social setting.

    And then, of course, we always think (afterward) “I should have said…” 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think with INFJs we have so many conversations and thoughts zipping through our mind, and then during small talk, when it is our turn to speak, the spillway opens, and we barf out the contents of all those thoughts and ideas, all at once. I am consciously horrified at how stupid, and clumsy I sound when I speak. But it sounded oh so eloquent when I was rehearsing it in my head.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Heheh very accurate! My “nature” trait lies on a fine line between T and F, but after taking the test multiple times through different sites, it seems I lean more towards an INFJ. When I realized this, light bulb moments all day 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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