INFJ Problems – Sharing Feelings

Hi, I’m an INFJ… and I suck at sharing my feelings.

Now, I’ve gone on and on in this series about how INFJs are fantastic at reading your feelings, and empathising with you until you practically vomit over the gooeyness of it all.

That said, we sure do suck at letting people know about our feelings.

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As your local INFJ know-it-all, I’m going to come clean now and say, I don’t know why we find this so hard to do. I’m assuming it’s to do with our strong sense of Introversion and not liking having the spotlight on us, but you can be sure you’re taking to an INFJ if you start a conversation with someone and say “no, really, how are you” and they deflect with “ok but I can see you’re not, tell me about it.”

We’re masters at this. Deflection. In fact, in medieval times I’ll bet INFJs didn’t even need shields.

But in all seriousness, there is nothing more that an INFJ wants than for you to ask “What’s really going on inside you?” She won’t tell you but she’ll be thrilled that you care enough to ask.

Which begs the question; why are so many INFJs drawn to the profession of writing? Writing is, after all, the very definition of opening one’s innermost secrets and spilling them out on a blank page. Leaving one open to be read, scrutinized and then the very worst horror of all… critiqued.

The thought of a negative review or bad critique makes me shudder with revulsion. Yet I’m planning a December release for Guns of Perdition, which will leave me open to all the scrutiny and reviews in the world. So why do it?

Because we’re weird. That’s why.

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The conundrum that is the INFJ continues…

 

*If you’d like to know more about INFJs or the Myers Briggs Personality Types follow this link.

27 thoughts on “INFJ Problems – Sharing Feelings”

  2. I once had my closest friend say to me something along the lines of “I’m always sharing my problems with you. It would be nice if you did the same with me once in a while so I could be there for you too.”

    Why do we find it so hard? No idea, just that it’s almost impossible. I love these posts because they’re always spot on. That chart is perfect too.

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    1. I think it may be a combination of “wanting to share” and “fearing they don’t really want to know”, with a little “I don’t want to impose” thrown in for good measure.

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    2. I’ve never found a single image that resonates with me as much as that can. I was at my last employer for a year and during that time they uncovered I had dogs and was married. That’s it. They didn’t know my birthday, my writing passion, my real interests. It’s almost like a game now… “lets see how much I can withhold” 😏

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      1. There are definitely times where someone will randomly be discussing something, and as a reflex I’ll answer a question. “What’s a LARP?” someone asks.
        “Live Action Role Play,” I say.
        “Wait…how do you know that?”
        *Shrug* “I know people who are into that sort of thing.”
        And they’re left to wonder what else I know.

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      4. Somewhere I heard a story where a murder mystery novelist got in serious trouble for their search history. And supposedly the production team behind Die Hard with a Vengeance got some real heat for exposing some very real weaknesses in certain high profile institutions.

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  3. I think part of the allure in writing is simultaneously sharing, while still letting people choose to learn (via reading), or not. And writing allows us to create some safe distance between when we express ourselves and when others have a chance to read and respond.
    I’ve found that I’m more at ease expressing myself through the written word than the spoken.

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    1. Here’s one for you….I’m good at expressing myself verbally (when I choose to), and I’m good at writing characters and their emotions, but if I need to write from my heart, expressing my own emotions, I usually fail miserably. Weird!

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