Hi, I’m an INFJ. When we first meet i’ll assess you. I don’t mean to, it’s what I do. I will make a quick judgement about you (and usually it’s on point).
Then regardless whether you ask for it, if I see you need something, I will give it to you. I’m not talking about physical needs here (though I have been known to give away furniture, computers and clothes to my needy friends). I’m talking here about emotions.
You need empathy. Here, take some of mine. You need sympathy? I’ll listen. You need to unburden your anger and frustration. Use me as your empty vessel to fill.
I’m an INFJ it’s what I do.
The problem occurs when I give away too much of myself. I spend all day everyday taking little bits of my heart and soul and giving them away. I rarely get them back and if they are returned, they’re not in good condition.
By the end of the day, i’m scattered and battered and have lost too much of myself to even be me anymore (heaven help you if you’re the driver who cuts me off on the way home).
It takes solitude and escape to heal the holes left by what I’ve given away.
So when I flinch at being asked out after work, don’t take it personally. I just need my space to heal… without you around.
*If you’d like to know more about INFJs or the Myers Briggs Personality Types follow this link